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Full Version: The Scourge of Tsundra
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[Image: vqlbi8.jpg]
(Fluff)
Spoiler: Story
[shadow=grey,left]
There was once a planet called Tsundra. Unlike earth, this planet saw the rise of man and dinosaurs at the same time, allowing man to tame the dinosaurs and, for a time, everything seemed splendid (as splendid as a dinosaur/human world could be), until a meteor struck the planet. Most of the planet's populace died-- man and dinosaur alike, and whoever was left started to realize that they can control the elements. Apparently, historians argue, that asteroid had magic in it. So now that they had control over life and death itself, what would they do with it?

Fight among themselves.

One group argued that the bodies of the dead are to be left as they are, so they could rest.

We, however, thought best that they should have a second chance at life.

The war that followed almost destroyed us, but we drove the traitors underground. We built new cities to replace rubble, and raised bodies to populate them. But, they would not stay underground long. They returned with a huge army with armored humans and dinosaurs under a white paladin banner. They pushed us underground, and sealed us in, so we cannot escape. No matter, there are more bones down here to raise anyway. We tried several times to break out, but were stopped each time.
By this point the two factions could be considered different races now. We live off undead energy, while those self-proclaimed "Holy Order of Life" fleshbags live off the land. By that time, we decided to stay underground long enough to get enough power to finally defeat them.

Now, because we are undead, and we can't see the sun, our perception of time warped. What felt like minutes for us was really years for them. So busy we were to build our armies that we didn't notice that time had done what we could not.
So we will be the sole owner of this spit of sand, if it wasn't for the alien nations that have re populated the planet in the paladin passing.
But we do not worry, for we have many bones to kill them with.[/shadow]


Reborn and ready to kill and unfossilize the living.

Necromancy:
Spoiler: Magic
Souls are required to raise a sentient necromancer, but they can be put into unfossilized dinosaurs to make them even more dangerous. Souls are obtained by killing enemies and stuffing their souls in a jar (dubbed soul jar) or just purchasing a soul jar from a shop in an existing Scourge settlement. Since souls cannot carry memories of who they once were with them (after all, memories are left behind in the brain), they don't carry grudges against their former enemies. The actual act of unfossilizing can be carried out slowly on any old surface, but special pads make for unfossilizing easier. All sentient unfossilized are referred to as necromancers, since they all can do necromancy sooner or later.

Combat:
Spoiler: Combat
Necromancers going into combat usually come with several unfossilized dinosaurs as escorts (who bite and claw and eat and stuff), but they can do several things to harm opponents. They can do a number of offensive ranged spells designed to maim and kill, and they have a staff-spear that enhances their offensive capibility a lot more than if they used these same spells without the staff-spear. Needless to say, the spear is also good for stabbing. They also carry a round shield good for blocking both melee attacks and ranged, and are magically enhanced accordingly to boost their defensive strength. Dinosaurs also make excellent mounts.
Why did you make a new account?
The legs on the big raptors are weirdly sprited and the body is too flat, arch it. What are those weird green things on the body(the bright green stuff, not arms)?
Incoming spontaneous CC:

The raptor things have flat and gradient shading that make them look metallic, their thighs need to be fatter at the top connecting with the body and they're just generally stiff and not very organic looking at all.

Also, are the small grey people robots?
That's at least what they look like to me.

Wow, that sounded harsh, sorry for that. :v:
You need to check your spelling Pyro I saw a bunch of spelling errors in your story.
Robots are in most cases made out of some sort of metal, undead is an reanimated dead person/creature which is organic, and finally, a golem is most often an animated bunch of rocks or whatever, similar to a robot except magic stuff.

EDIT:

What I mean about the raptor not looking organic is that it's kinda blocky.
I made a quick edit to show you how they can be done:
[Image: 3492185982]

With just some minor edits and some sloppy shading it suddenly doesn't look so blocky or robotic anymore.
Yours is still way too blocky.

Its like its spine is flat.
(09-25-2011 09:40 PM)Pyrosaurus_Rex link Wrote: [ -> ]First thing I noticed when comparing your sprite to mine is that it's too big for my needs. That raptor looks as big as my Albertasaurus.
[Image: c47d9e3d4d.png]

Then make it smaller, you dunce.
I was editing the medium sized one in your sprite sheet.

EDIT:
They all pretty much look the same, minus the sizes..
The Forgotten Ones
The Buried Empire
The Waiting Scourge
The Timeless Kingdom
Eh.
The Waiting Scourge sounds like a good name and Pyro make more movement poses, because if you look at your match the dinos are all moving the same way which just looks weird and odd.
(09-25-2011 05:58 PM)Reconunit link Wrote: [ -> ]I made a quick edit to show you how they can be done:
[Image: 3492185982]

You should really try to take advice like this. Your dinos still don't look like dinos, whereas this one does. It just seems like a no-brainer to me.
Pyro, if you're going to take away anything from what Recon did for you, at least try and imitate his version's shape. It's much more lifelike than yours.
[Image: BumpToad.jpg]

Bump because I don't feel like taking up any more room in the W.I.P thread, and I suppose a refluff is in order ,so I refluffed it. Fixed spelling mistakes I didn't know was there and improved sentence flow. What do you think of this new name and fluff?
[Image: d58b0d03b5.png]

New allosaurus. Too tired to think of any fixes to the design. Probably could use a new coat of paint, so it doesn't look like I copy-pasted it.
Probably could also be a bit chunkier all over, and the jaw should be shaped differently.
It looks like you took the raptor sprite and resized it.
[Image: de0fc48bbc.png]

Is this better now?
Not really, see how the legs are shaped on the big dino?
And the jaw area, below the cheeks is protruding.
The chest is a little larger and there should be a more humped back.
Mmmkay how bout this?

[Image: 312ff67b43.png]
Better, although you have a massive vertical line on the front of the leg now which isn't great. Make them less blocky in general, experiment.

And the neck and jaw of the big dino, they're not the same shape as the little dino's. The jaw should be a little squarer and the neck has a lump in it.
Maybe search for some different ref pics?
[Image: a36b08a6ee.png]

This any better?
What I don't really understand is why you keep asking us questions when you have a reference on your sprite sheet, and your sprite does not look like the reference.
They're not there for decoration man, use them :P
What's so bad about asking for input? :v:
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